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Dec. 22nd, 2024 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cloudcolorsI've been using this journal to play online TCGs for a few months now, and from time to time I'd think "ah, maybe I'll use it for writing, too!", but my writing muscles are so out of shape that the thought stalls there. At first, I thought it might be because my life "isn't that interesting" these days, but in truth, I think it is actually just very overwhelming to organize and explain everything that HAS happened and IS happening, at this point in time. Microblogging and group chats have taken over most longform public journaling, too- the assurance that someone will Read This (tm) has become part of the habit of sharing it in the last ten years or so. As much as I've criticized that, and felt drained by it, the desire for """engagement""" is a hard habit to break.
So let's see. It's Christmastime, 2024. I'm in my Mid 30s, teetering ever closer to my Late 30s, living in Los Angeles with my wonderful sweet wife and our sassy little chihuahua mix. I got laid off from my 10 year career as a project manager for a mobile game company last October, and have been unemployed for 14 months, despite my constant hunt for another job. As such, I've decided to return to college (I dropped out about fifteen years ago), aiming for a new career in Health Information Technology. Ideally, I'd like to work remotely as an admin for patient databases, but that might totally change once I actually start studying. I'm mostly just looking for stability right now, after watching thousands of my peers lose their jobs in entertainment this year in lieu of late stage capitalism crunching everyone in the meat grinder. I know my tone's a bit gloomy, but I'm honestly really excited to give college a try now that I'm older and know myself better- I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was in my early 20s, other than chase my heart all over the country and stay up all night living the bittersweet life I'd heard about in alt rock songs (something I'm mostly elated I got to do, messy as it was).
The past year has been surreal, in that, while I feel deep anxiety, I also feel a deep peace being in charge of my own schedule. Ever since Covid Lockdown in 2020, where the world crashed to a halt and rearranged all our molecules, I've been hyper aware of how much slower my body wants to move than what a lot of the modern American world expected me to. I like sleeping when I'm tired, doing chores when I have energy, and actually having focus for things like website building, drawing, and going for long walks. This is the kind of life I want to continue having, and while I genuinely really like working when I'm valued, I want to work to build a professional life that suits my life, not trying to fit the mold others try to force people into. Easier said than done, of course, but I'm not as young as I was and I believe I can figure it out!
I have so much more to say (I'm a yapper, lol), but something else I've learned is that I sometimes burn myself out by "venting" too much unfiltered information, so I am gonna call it here for now. Tomorrow, my wife, pup and I are driving up the coast a couple hours to my hometown to spend Christmas with my family, as is our tradition. Still have packing and laundry to do, so the last few brain cells have to go to that, haha. Thanks, little journal. Hope to write again!
So let's see. It's Christmastime, 2024. I'm in my Mid 30s, teetering ever closer to my Late 30s, living in Los Angeles with my wonderful sweet wife and our sassy little chihuahua mix. I got laid off from my 10 year career as a project manager for a mobile game company last October, and have been unemployed for 14 months, despite my constant hunt for another job. As such, I've decided to return to college (I dropped out about fifteen years ago), aiming for a new career in Health Information Technology. Ideally, I'd like to work remotely as an admin for patient databases, but that might totally change once I actually start studying. I'm mostly just looking for stability right now, after watching thousands of my peers lose their jobs in entertainment this year in lieu of late stage capitalism crunching everyone in the meat grinder. I know my tone's a bit gloomy, but I'm honestly really excited to give college a try now that I'm older and know myself better- I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was in my early 20s, other than chase my heart all over the country and stay up all night living the bittersweet life I'd heard about in alt rock songs (something I'm mostly elated I got to do, messy as it was).
The past year has been surreal, in that, while I feel deep anxiety, I also feel a deep peace being in charge of my own schedule. Ever since Covid Lockdown in 2020, where the world crashed to a halt and rearranged all our molecules, I've been hyper aware of how much slower my body wants to move than what a lot of the modern American world expected me to. I like sleeping when I'm tired, doing chores when I have energy, and actually having focus for things like website building, drawing, and going for long walks. This is the kind of life I want to continue having, and while I genuinely really like working when I'm valued, I want to work to build a professional life that suits my life, not trying to fit the mold others try to force people into. Easier said than done, of course, but I'm not as young as I was and I believe I can figure it out!
I have so much more to say (I'm a yapper, lol), but something else I've learned is that I sometimes burn myself out by "venting" too much unfiltered information, so I am gonna call it here for now. Tomorrow, my wife, pup and I are driving up the coast a couple hours to my hometown to spend Christmas with my family, as is our tradition. Still have packing and laundry to do, so the last few brain cells have to go to that, haha. Thanks, little journal. Hope to write again!
